PHP logo

PHP Version 5.6.34

System Linux 3.10.0-714.10.2.lve1.5.12.el7.x86_64 #1 SMP Fri Feb 2 00:27:48 EST 2018 x86_64
Build Date Mar 6 2018 14:59:38
Configure Command './configure' '--build=x86_64-redhat-linux-gnu' '--host=x86_64-redhat-linux-gnu' '--program-prefix=' '--disable-dependency-tracking' '--prefix=/opt/cpanel/ea-php56/root/usr' '--exec-prefix=/opt/cpanel/ea-php56/root/usr' '--bindir=/opt/cpanel/ea-php56/root/usr/bin' '--sbindir=/opt/cpanel/ea-php56/root/usr/sbin' '--sysconfdir=/opt/cpanel/ea-php56/root/etc' '--datadir=/opt/cpanel/ea-php56/root/usr/share' '--includedir=/opt/cpanel/ea-php56/root/usr/include' '--libdir=/opt/cpanel/ea-php56/root/usr/lib64' '--libexecdir=/opt/cpanel/ea-php56/root/usr/libexec' '--localstatedir=/opt/cpanel/ea-php56/root/usr/var' '--sharedstatedir=/opt/cpanel/ea-php56/root/usr/com' '--mandir=/opt/cpanel/ea-php56/root/usr/share/man' '--infodir=/opt/cpanel/ea-php56/root/usr/share/info' '--cache-file=../config.cache' '--with-libdir=lib64' '--with-config-file-path=/opt/cpanel/ea-php56/root/etc' '--with-config-file-scan-dir=/opt/cpanel/ea-php56/root/etc/php.d' '--disable-debug' '--with-pic' '--enable-rpath=/opt/cpanel/ea-php56/root/usr/lib64' '--without-pear' '--with-bz2' '--with-freetype-dir=/usr' '--with-png-dir=/usr' '--with-xpm-dir=/usr' '--with-vpx-dir=/usr' '--enable-gd-native-ttf' '--without-gdbm' '--with-gettext' '--with-iconv' '--with-jpeg-dir=/usr' '--with-openssl=/opt/cpanel/openssl' '--with-openssl-dir=/opt/cpanel/openssl' '--with-pcre-regex=/usr' '--with-zlib' '--with-layout=GNU' '--enable-exif' '--enable-ftp' '--enable-sockets' '--with-kerberos' '--enable-shmop' '--with-libxml-dir=/opt/cpanel/ea-libxml2' '--enable-xml' '--with-system-tzdata' '--with-mhash' '--libdir=/opt/cpanel/ea-php56/root/usr/lib64/php' '--enable-pcntl' '--enable-opcache' '--with-imap=shared,/opt/cpanel/ea-php56/root/usr' '--with-imap-ssl' '--enable-mbstring=shared' '--enable-mbregex' '--with-t1lib=/usr' '--with-gd=shared' '--with-gmp=shared' '--enable-calendar=shared' '--enable-bcmath=shared' '--with-bz2=shared' '--enable-ctype=shared' '--enable-dba=shared' '--with-db4=/usr' '--with-tcadb=/usr' '--enable-exif=shared' '--enable-ftp=shared' '--with-gettext=shared' '--with-iconv=shared' '--enable-sockets=shared' '--enable-tokenizer=shared' '--with-xmlrpc=shared' '--with-ldap=shared' '--with-ldap-sasl' '--enable-mysqlnd=shared' '--with-mysql=shared,mysqlnd' '--with-mysqli=shared,mysqlnd' '--with-mysql-sock=/var/lib/mysql/mysql.sock' '--enable-dom=shared' '--with-pgsql=shared' '--enable-simplexml=shared' '--enable-xml=shared' '--enable-wddx=shared' '--with-snmp=shared,/usr' '--enable-soap=shared' '--with-xsl=shared,/usr' '--enable-xmlreader=shared' '--enable-xmlwriter=shared' '--with-curl=shared,/opt/cpanel/libcurl' '--enable-pdo=shared' '--with-pdo-odbc=shared,unixODBC,/usr' '--with-pdo-mysql=shared,mysqlnd' '--with-pdo-pgsql=shared,/usr' '--with-pdo-sqlite=shared,/usr' '--with-sqlite3=shared,/usr' '--enable-json=shared' '--enable-zip=shared' '--without-readline' '--with-libedit' '--with-pspell=shared' '--enable-phar=shared' '--with-mcrypt=shared,/opt/cpanel/libmcrypt' '--with-tidy=shared,/opt/cpanel/libtidy' '--with-mssql=shared,/opt/cpanel/freetds' '--with-pdo-dblib=shared,/opt/cpanel/freetds' '--enable-sysvmsg=shared' '--enable-sysvshm=shared' '--enable-sysvsem=shared' '--enable-shmop=shared' '--enable-posix=shared' '--with-unixODBC=shared,/usr' '--enable-intl=shared' '--with-icu-dir=/usr' '--with-enchant=shared,/usr' '--with-recode=shared,/usr' '--enable-fileinfo=shared' 'build_alias=x86_64-redhat-linux-gnu' 'host_alias=x86_64-redhat-linux-gnu' 'CFLAGS=-O2 '-g' '-pipe' '-Wall' '-Wp,-D_FORTIFY_SOURCE=2' '-fexceptions' '-fstack-protector-strong' '--param=ssp-buffer-size=4' '-grecord-gcc-switches' '-specs=/usr/lib/rpm/redhat/redhat-hardened-cc1' '-m64' '-mtune=generic' '-fno-strict-aliasing' '-Wno-pointer-sign' '-DWITH_CRIU'' 'LDFLAGS=-Wl,-z,relro '-specs=/usr/lib/rpm/redhat/redhat-hardened-ld'' 'LIBS= '-lpthread'' 'CXXFLAGS=-O2 '-g' '-pipe' '-Wall' '-Wp,-D_FORTIFY_SOURCE=2' '-fexceptions' '-fstack-protector-strong' '--param=ssp-buffer-size=4' '-grecord-gcc-switches' '-specs=/usr/lib/rpm/redhat/redhat-hardened-cc1' '-m64' '-mtune=generic''
Server API CGI/FastCGI
Virtual Directory Support disabled
Configuration File (php.ini) Path /opt/cpanel/ea-php56/root/etc
Loaded Configuration File /home/undea6/public_html/php.ini
Scan this dir for additional .ini files (none)
Additional .ini files parsed (none)
PHP API 20131106
PHP Extension 20131226
Zend Extension 220131226
Zend Extension Build API220131226,NTS
PHP Extension Build API20131226,NTS
Debug Build no
Thread Safety disabled
Zend Signal Handling disabled
Zend Memory Manager enabled
Zend Multibyte Support disabled
IPv6 Support enabled
DTrace Support disabled
Registered PHP Streamshttps, ftps, compress.zlib, php, file, glob, data, http, ftp
Registered Stream Socket Transportstcp, udp, unix, udg, ssl, sslv3, tls, tlsv1.0, tlsv1.1, tlsv1.2
Registered Stream Filterszlib.*, string.rot13, string.toupper, string.tolower, string.strip_tags, convert.*, consumed, dechunk
Zend logo This program makes use of the Zend Scripting Language Engine:
Zend Engine v2.6.0, Copyright (c) 1998-2016 Zend Technologies



DirectiveLocal ValueMaster Value
cgi.redirect_status_envno valueno value


PHP Version 5.6.34
DirectiveLocal ValueMaster Value
auto_append_fileno valueno value
auto_prepend_fileno valueno value
browscapno valueno value
disable_classesno valueno value
doc_rootno valueno value
docref_extno valueno value
docref_rootno valueno value
error_append_stringno valueno value
error_logno valueno value
error_prepend_stringno valueno value
error_reportingno valueno value
input_encodingno valueno value
internal_encodingno valueno value
mail.force_extra_parametersno valueno value
mail.logno valueno value
open_basedirno valueno value
output_encodingno valueno value
output_handlerno valueno value
request_orderno valueno value
sendmail_fromno valueno value
sendmail_path/usr/sbin/sendmail -t -i /usr/sbin/sendmail -t -i 
sys_temp_dirno valueno value
unserialize_callback_funcno valueno value
upload_tmp_dirno valueno value
user_dirno valueno value
zend.script_encodingno valueno value


date/time support enabled
"Olson" Timezone Database Version 0.system
Timezone Database internal
Default timezone America/New_York
DirectiveLocal ValueMaster Value
date.timezoneno valueno value


Regex Library Bundled library enabled


Input Validation and Filtering enabled
Revision $Id: 5b79667bd9a68977a9b4f7505223a8e216e04908 $
DirectiveLocal ValueMaster Value
filter.default_flagsno valueno value


hash support enabled
Hashing Engines md2 md4 md5 sha1 sha224 sha256 sha384 sha512 ripemd128 ripemd160 ripemd256 ripemd320 whirlpool tiger128,3 tiger160,3 tiger192,3 tiger128,4 tiger160,4 tiger192,4 snefru snefru256 gost gost-crypto adler32 crc32 crc32b fnv132 fnv1a32 fnv164 fnv1a64 joaat haval128,3 haval160,3 haval192,3 haval224,3 haval256,3 haval128,4 haval160,4 haval192,4 haval224,4 haval256,4 haval128,5 haval160,5 haval192,5 haval224,5 haval256,5


libXML support active
libXML Compiled Version 2.9.7
libXML Loaded Version 20907
libXML streams enabled


MHASH support Enabled
MHASH API Version Emulated Support


OpenSSL support enabled
OpenSSL Library Version OpenSSL 1.0.2n 7 Dec 2017
OpenSSL Header Version OpenSSL 1.0.2n 7 Dec 2017
Openssl default config /opt/cpanel/openssl/etc/pki/tls/openssl.cnf
DirectiveLocal ValueMaster Value
openssl.cafileno valueno value
openssl.capathno valueno value


pcntl supportenabled


PCRE (Perl Compatible Regular Expressions) Support enabled
PCRE Library Version 8.32 2012-11-30
DirectiveLocal ValueMaster Value


Readline Supportenabled
Readline library EditLine wrapper
DirectiveLocal ValueMaster Value
cli.pagerno valueno value
cli.prompt\b \> \b \> 


Version $Id: 5f15287237d5f78d75b19c26915aa7bd83dee8b8 $


Session Support enabled
Registered save handlers files user
Registered serializer handlers php_serialize php php_binary
DirectiveLocal ValueMaster Value
session.cookie_domainno valueno value
session.referer_checkno valueno value
session.save_pathno valueno value


SPL supportenabled
Interfaces Countable, OuterIterator, RecursiveIterator, SeekableIterator, SplObserver, SplSubject
Classes AppendIterator, ArrayIterator, ArrayObject, BadFunctionCallException, BadMethodCallException, CachingIterator, CallbackFilterIterator, DirectoryIterator, DomainException, EmptyIterator, FilesystemIterator, FilterIterator, GlobIterator, InfiniteIterator, InvalidArgumentException, IteratorIterator, LengthException, LimitIterator, LogicException, MultipleIterator, NoRewindIterator, OutOfBoundsException, OutOfRangeException, OverflowException, ParentIterator, RangeException, RecursiveArrayIterator, RecursiveCachingIterator, RecursiveCallbackFilterIterator, RecursiveDirectoryIterator, RecursiveFilterIterator, RecursiveIteratorIterator, RecursiveRegexIterator, RecursiveTreeIterator, RegexIterator, RuntimeException, SplDoublyLinkedList, SplFileInfo, SplFileObject, SplFixedArray, SplHeap, SplMinHeap, SplMaxHeap, SplObjectStorage, SplPriorityQueue, SplQueue, SplStack, SplTempFileObject, UnderflowException, UnexpectedValueException


Dynamic Library Support enabled
Path to sendmail /usr/sbin/sendmail -t -i
DirectiveLocal ValueMaster Value
assert.callbackno valueno value
fromno valueno value
user_agentno valueno value


ZLib Supportenabled
Stream Wrapper compress.zlib://
Stream Filter zlib.inflate, zlib.deflate
Compiled Version 1.2.7
Linked Version 1.2.7
DirectiveLocal ValueMaster Value
zlib.output_handlerno valueno value

Additional Modules

Module Name


CONTEXT_DOCUMENT_ROOT /home/undea6/public_html
DOCUMENT_ROOT /home/undea6/public_html
HTTP_ACCEPT text/html,application/xhtml+xml,application/xml;q=0.9,*/*;q=0.8
HTTP_ACCEPT_ENCODING x-gzip, gzip, deflate
HTTP_IF_MODIFIED_SINCE Tue, 20 Feb 2018 17:21:18 GMT
PATH /bin:/usr/bin
PHPRC /home/undea6/public_html/
REQUEST_URI /about.php
SCRIPT_FILENAME /home/undea6/public_html/about.php
SCRIPT_NAME /about.php
SERVER_SIGNATURE <address>Apache Server at Port 80</address>

PHP Variables

_SERVER["HTTP_ACCEPT_ENCODING"]x-gzip, gzip, deflate
_SERVER["HTTP_IF_MODIFIED_SINCE"]Tue, 20 Feb 2018 17:21:18 GMT
_SERVER["SERVER_SIGNATURE"]<address>Apache Server at Port 80</address>
_ENV["HTTP_ACCEPT_ENCODING"]x-gzip, gzip, deflate
_ENV["HTTP_IF_MODIFIED_SINCE"]Tue, 20 Feb 2018 17:21:18 GMT
_ENV["QUERY_STRING"]no value
_ENV["SERVER_SIGNATURE"]<address>Apache Server at Port 80</address>

PHP Credits

PHP Group
Thies C. Arntzen, Stig Bakken, Shane Caraveo, Andi Gutmans, Rasmus Lerdorf, Sam Ruby, Sascha Schumann, Zeev Suraski, Jim Winstead, Andrei Zmievski
Language Design & Concept
Andi Gutmans, Rasmus Lerdorf, Zeev Suraski, Marcus Boerger
PHP Authors
Zend Scripting Language Engine Andi Gutmans, Zeev Suraski, Stanislav Malyshev, Marcus Boerger, Dmitry Stogov, Xinchen Hui, Nikita Popov
Extension Module API Andi Gutmans, Zeev Suraski, Andrei Zmievski
UNIX Build and Modularization Stig Bakken, Sascha Schumann, Jani Taskinen
Windows Port Shane Caraveo, Zeev Suraski, Wez Furlong, Pierre-Alain Joye, Anatol Belski
Server API (SAPI) Abstraction Layer Andi Gutmans, Shane Caraveo, Zeev Suraski
Streams Abstraction Layer Wez Furlong, Sara Golemon
PHP Data Objects Layer Wez Furlong, Marcus Boerger, Sterling Hughes, George Schlossnagle, Ilia Alshanetsky
Output Handler Zeev Suraski, Thies C. Arntzen, Marcus Boerger, Michael Wallner
SAPI Modules
AOLserver Sascha Schumann
Apache 1.3 (apache_hooks) Rasmus Lerdorf, Zeev Suraski, Stig Bakken, David Sklar, George Schlossnagle, Lukas Schroeder
Apache 1.3 Rasmus Lerdorf, Zeev Suraski, Stig Bakken, David Sklar
Apache 2.0 Filter Sascha Schumann, Aaron Bannert
Apache 2.0 Handler Ian Holsman, Justin Erenkrantz (based on Apache 2.0 Filter code)
Caudium / Roxen David Hedbor
CGI / FastCGI Rasmus Lerdorf, Stig Bakken, Shane Caraveo, Dmitry Stogov
CLI Edin Kadribasic, Marcus Boerger, Johannes Schlueter, Moriyoshi Koizumi, Xinchen Hui
Continuity Alex Leigh (based on nsapi code)
Embed Edin Kadribasic
FastCGI Process Manager Andrei Nigmatulin, dreamcat4, Antony Dovgal, Jerome Loyet
ISAPI Andi Gutmans, Zeev Suraski
litespeed George Wang
NSAPI Jayakumar Muthukumarasamy, Uwe Schindler
phpdbg Felipe Pena, Joe Watkins, Bob Weinand
phttpd Thies C. Arntzen
pi3web Holger Zimmermann
Sendmail Milter Harald Radi
thttpd Sascha Schumann
tux Sascha Schumann
WebJames Alex Waugh
Module Authors
BC Math Andi Gutmans
Bzip2 Sterling Hughes
Calendar Shane Caraveo, Colin Viebrock, Hartmut Holzgraefe, Wez Furlong
COM and .Net Wez Furlong
ctype Hartmut Holzgraefe
cURL Sterling Hughes
Date/Time Support Derick Rethans
DB-LIB (MS SQL, Sybase) Wez Furlong, Frank M. Kromann
DBA Sascha Schumann, Marcus Boerger
DOM Christian Stocker, Rob Richards, Marcus Boerger
enchant Pierre-Alain Joye, Ilia Alshanetsky
ereg Rasmus Lerdorf, Jim Winstead, Jaakko Hyvätti
EXIF Rasmus Lerdorf, Marcus Boerger
fileinfo Ilia Alshanetsky, Pierre Alain Joye, Scott MacVicar, Derick Rethans
Firebird driver for PDO Ard Biesheuvel
FTP Stefan Esser, Andrew Skalski
GD imaging Rasmus Lerdorf, Stig Bakken, Jim Winstead, Jouni Ahto, Ilia Alshanetsky, Pierre-Alain Joye, Marcus Boerger
GetText Alex Plotnick
GNU GMP support Stanislav Malyshev
Iconv Rui Hirokawa, Stig Bakken, Moriyoshi Koizumi
IMAP Rex Logan, Mark Musone, Brian Wang, Kaj-Michael Lang, Antoni Pamies Olive, Rasmus Lerdorf, Andrew Skalski, Chuck Hagenbuch, Daniel R Kalowsky
Input Filter Rasmus Lerdorf, Derick Rethans, Pierre-Alain Joye, Ilia Alshanetsky
InterBase Jouni Ahto, Andrew Avdeev, Ard Biesheuvel
Internationalization Ed Batutis, Vladimir Iordanov, Dmitry Lakhtyuk, Stanislav Malyshev, Vadim Savchuk, Kirti Velankar
JSON Omar Kilani, Scott MacVicar
LDAP Amitay Isaacs, Eric Warnke, Rasmus Lerdorf, Gerrit Thomson, Stig Venaas
LIBXML Christian Stocker, Rob Richards, Marcus Boerger, Wez Furlong, Shane Caraveo
mcrypt Sascha Schumann, Derick Rethans
MS SQL Frank M. Kromann
Multibyte String Functions Tsukada Takuya, Rui Hirokawa
MySQL driver for PDO George Schlossnagle, Wez Furlong, Ilia Alshanetsky, Johannes Schlueter
MySQL Zeev Suraski, Zak Greant, Georg Richter, Andrey Hristov
MySQLi Zak Greant, Georg Richter, Andrey Hristov, Ulf Wendel
MySQLnd Andrey Hristov, Ulf Wendel, Georg Richter, Johannes Schlüter
OCI8 Stig Bakken, Thies C. Arntzen, Andy Sautins, David Benson, Maxim Maletsky, Harald Radi, Antony Dovgal, Andi Gutmans, Wez Furlong, Christopher Jones, Oracle Corporation
ODBC driver for PDO Wez Furlong
ODBC Stig Bakken, Andreas Karajannis, Frank M. Kromann, Daniel R. Kalowsky
OpenSSL Stig Venaas, Wez Furlong, Sascha Kettler, Scott MacVicar
Oracle (OCI) driver for PDO Wez Furlong
pcntl Jason Greene, Arnaud Le Blanc
Perl Compatible Regexps Andrei Zmievski
PHP Archive Gregory Beaver, Marcus Boerger
PHP Data Objects Wez Furlong, Marcus Boerger, Sterling Hughes, George Schlossnagle, Ilia Alshanetsky
PHP hash Sara Golemon, Rasmus Lerdorf, Stefan Esser, Michael Wallner, Scott MacVicar
Posix Kristian Koehntopp
PostgreSQL driver for PDO Edin Kadribasic, Ilia Alshanetsky
PostgreSQL Jouni Ahto, Zeev Suraski, Yasuo Ohgaki, Chris Kings-Lynne
Pspell Vlad Krupin
Readline Thies C. Arntzen
Recode Kristian Koehntopp
Reflection Marcus Boerger, Timm Friebe, George Schlossnagle, Andrei Zmievski, Johannes Schlueter
Sessions Sascha Schumann, Andrei Zmievski
Shared Memory Operations Slava Poliakov, Ilia Alshanetsky
SimpleXML Sterling Hughes, Marcus Boerger, Rob Richards
SNMP Rasmus Lerdorf, Harrie Hazewinkel, Mike Jackson, Steven Lawrance, Johann Hanne, Boris Lytochkin
SOAP Brad Lafountain, Shane Caraveo, Dmitry Stogov
Sockets Chris Vandomelen, Sterling Hughes, Daniel Beulshausen, Jason Greene
SPL Marcus Boerger, Etienne Kneuss
SQLite 3.x driver for PDO Wez Furlong
SQLite3 Scott MacVicar, Ilia Alshanetsky, Brad Dewar
Sybase-CT Zeev Suraski, Tom May, Timm Friebe
System V Message based IPC Wez Furlong
System V Semaphores Tom May
System V Shared Memory Christian Cartus
tidy John Coggeshall, Ilia Alshanetsky
tokenizer Andrei Zmievski, Johannes Schlueter
WDDX Andrei Zmievski
XML Stig Bakken, Thies C. Arntzen, Sterling Hughes
XMLReader Rob Richards
xmlrpc Dan Libby
XMLWriter Rob Richards, Pierre-Alain Joye
XSL Christian Stocker, Rob Richards
Zip Pierre-Alain Joye, Remi Collet
Zlib Rasmus Lerdorf, Stefan Roehrich, Zeev Suraski, Jade Nicoletti, Michael Wallner
PHP Documentation
Authors Mehdi Achour, Friedhelm Betz, Antony Dovgal, Nuno Lopes, Hannes Magnusson, Georg Richter, Damien Seguy, Jakub Vrana, Adam Harvey, Peter Cowburn
Editor Philip Olson
User Note Maintainers Daniel P. Brown, Thiago Henrique Pojda
Other Contributors Previously active authors, editors and other contributors are listed in the manual.
PHP Quality Assurance Team
Ilia Alshanetsky, Joerg Behrens, Antony Dovgal, Stefan Esser, Moriyoshi Koizumi, Magnus Maatta, Sebastian Nohn, Derick Rethans, Melvyn Sopacua, Jani Taskinen, Pierre-Alain Joye, Dmitry Stogov, Felipe Pena, David Soria Parra, Stanislav Malyshev, Julien Pauli, Stephen Zarkos, Anatol Belski, Remi Collet, Ferenc Kovacs
Websites and Infrastructure team
PHP Websites Team Rasmus Lerdorf, Hannes Magnusson, Philip Olson, Lukas Kahwe Smith, Pierre-Alain Joye, Kalle Sommer Nielsen, Peter Cowburn, Adam Harvey, Ferenc Kovacs, Levi Morrison
Event Maintainers Damien Seguy, Daniel P. Brown
Network Infrastructure Daniel P. Brown
Windows Infrastructure Alex Schoenmaker

PHP License

This program is free software; you can redistribute it and/or modify it under the terms of the PHP License as published by the PHP Group and included in the distribution in the file: LICENSE

This program is distributed in the hope that it will be useful, but WITHOUT ANY WARRANTY; without even the implied warranty of MERCHANTABILITY or FITNESS FOR A PARTICULAR PURPOSE.

If you did not receive a copy of the PHP license, or have any questions about PHP licensing, please contact

Why Undead Fish?

It's fairly ridiculous, actually, but if you really want to know, here's the full story: Back in the day, I played a necromancer, a sorcerer with power over the undead, in the MMORPG Everquest™.  Over the 4+ years I spent playing, I made more than a few friends and many of us hung out in various incarnations of chat rooms during the day when we should have been working.  Some have speculated that this phenomenon was a direct contributor to my year on the unemployment line, but I digress.  During the slow times in chat, people took to writing what we considered to be clever emotes, short snippets of text that describe an action (i.e. Samadhi bonks you on the head).  One day, I typed "Samadhi whacks you with a fish".  One of my fellow slackers (Hiya, Shank!) commented "You're a warlock. Shouldn't that be an undead fish?"  It seemed to fit, so from then on, that's what I used.

Fast forward a couple of years.  I had retired from Everquest, but still kept in contact with just about all my former guildmates.  I was renewing the domain for my employer, the Wizard, and thought it would be kind of neat to own one myself.  Choosing the name was almost a foregone conclusion.

That's all there is to it.  One flippant, throwaway comment by an internet buddy and all of you have to suffer through all of this.

Who the hell is Samadhi?

When I first started using it, Samadhi was just a name.  My Everquest™ necromancer needed a sinister and unusual sounding name. I had read The Chronicles of Thomas Covenant the Unbeliever several years earlier and thought using the name of the evil Reaver would be both cool and obscure enough so as not to be recognized.  As I played the game, however, I got lots of people asking me if it was a "secret", an apparent reference to the album "Secret Samadhi" by "Live", although I had never heard of either.  Further research also revealed the significance of the name in Buddhism, where it is loosely translated from sanskrit as "enlightenment".  After 4+ years of EQ, I've grown more than a little attached to both the name, and my interpretation of the character.  As a result, although I no longer play Everquest, I've adopted the persona on message boards, and in just about every other game I've tried since.

The latest incarnation is Samadhi, the Undead Warlock of Shadow Council in Blizzard's World of Warcraft.

About Me

I'm not as cool as I think I am.  In real life, I'm a completely average, middle-aged (ouch, that hurts to type), divorced, computer programmer.  I've got two kids that I don't get to see nearly often enough.  I love reading, music, movies, and beer.  I'm heavily into all things computer-related.  I enjoy tackling programming problems and finding solutions.  I build my own PC's, although I have little time to do so these days.  I feel compelled to be the first on my block to own the latest and greatest technology, when my limited budget permits me to do so.  I haunt message boards with alarming frequency, although much less so now that I'm actually gainfully employed again.  I'm hopelessly addicted to computer games.

I'm a college graduate, with a useless degree in Economics that I've never used.  I aspired to be a writer, and have a completed novel in its 813th revision that never managed to find a publisher.  In my younger, cooler past, I spent 11 years as an attack pilot for the United States Marine Corps.  After that I fell on some hard times from an employment perspective.  I tried and failed as a marketing manager in Silicon Valley, CA and was forced to flee for home with my tail between my legs.  After that, things got worse and I was laid off from my job as a computer programmer for a small software company due, in no small part, to my inability to put things in perspective.

Desperate for work, I accepted a position as the sales and IT manager for a rinky-dink online magic company where I sacrificed the last shreds of my dignity in a desperate but ultimately failed attempt to avoid bankruptcy.  It's around that time that this site was born as I used it to chronicle the pain and suffering I was forced to endure on a daily basis.

I was forced to take a job as a manual laborer at that point, but I had learned several valuable lessons and had finally recognized that I wasn't going to be able to just fake it any more.  Fortunately for me, my long-time friend put in a good word for me and I was re-hired by the software company from which I had been laid off two years previously.  I had just started getting back into the flow of things as a Technical Analyst when we were gobbled up by a gargantuan consulting firm.  Needless to say, things are different now.

Recently, I was shifted to another department and am now a full-time java coder. This has been a big step up, and it seems to be going exceedingly well, thus far. As to what the future holds, well, time will tell...

What games do you play?

Right now, it's almost exclusively World of Warcraft, although I still dabble in a couple others when my kids are using my account. My latest flirtations have been with:
    Sam & Max: Season 2
    Eve Online

I also recently purchased an XBox 360. After years of being a PC snob, I'm forced to admit this thing is actually a lot of fun! Check below for my GamerCard and add me to your friends list!

And here's the newest little game-tracking widget I've discovered. It actually keeps track of all your games across multiple platforms.

What kind of music are you listening to?

Does anybody really care? I always wondered why people insisted on posting this. For the sake of argument, let's just assume my MP3 player has the 80's on an infinite loop.

Whatever happened to your novel?

Nothing at all. I sent it out to about a dozen agents over the course of a year or so, but was rejected by all of them. Shortly thereafter, I decided it needed a major rewrite, but I just haven't been able to muster either the time or the motivation to go through the 700+ pages. Every few weeks I have a flash of inspiration, but whatever muse possessed me sufficiently to churn out the original manuscript has apparently abandoned me. If you're interested, I've posted the prologue under the Novel menu option to your left. I'll put the rest up whenever I get around to converting it from Word to HTML.

Samadhi vs. The Wizard

It's been more than 3 years now, and I've finally put this behind me for the most part. I drive by my former employer from time to time and have even managed to stop feeling the need to flip him off as I pass, so I was tempted to just drop this entry from the site entirely. Given its importance in the very existence of Undead Fish, however, I'd be remiss if I didn't mention it. There's enough bad blood here to fill an entire site, but I'll try to sum it up as best I can so that those who arrived late to the party can get a sense of what Undead Fish was all about back in its infancy. Just by the way of clarification, I have been known to exaggerate for comic effect, but everything there is 100% true. Even *I* couldn't have made up anything as bizarre as things actually were back then.

Back in 2002, I was out of work and had been for some time. I was a computer guy with very little practical experience and the market had pretty much just collapsed so every day I spent hours searching the various job sites looking for something that I was qualified to do. Virtually every day, I saw the same ad from a small, mail-order magic company searching for an "e-Commerce and Sales Manager". Unfortunately, the scheduled hours were longer than average (10+ hours per day) and the salary was barely half of what I had been making at my previous position, so for the better part of 6 months I simply continued searching. Eventually, however, I had no choice but to lower my expectations and make the call. My unemployment benefits were exhausted. I had a family to support and a mortgage that I could no longer afford to pay so I bit the bullet and emailed my resume.

I should have probably known that something was amiss when the owner and president, loathingly referred to henceforth as "The Wizard", emailed me what can only be described as an IQ test in his response and scheduled my interview for 9pm, rather than during business hours. Unfortunately, I was desperate, so I swallowed my apprehensions and accepted his job offer when it was made.

The rest is history. For the entire sordid tale, I'd recommend you read the Saga of Samadhi vs. The Wizard. This page details the sum total of everything I posted regarding my job from the start to the very bitter end. In my defense, I can only say that I tried my hardest to accept the cards I had been dealt. Despite my rants and my "uncooperative attitude", I really wanted to succeed there.

The following few months were the absolute worst of my entire life. Thankfully for me, and for those around me, that was rock-bottom. Things have been improving ever since.

You're amazing! Want a job?

Ha, funny. Believe me, I wish people asked me that question. I'm actually fairly content where I am right now, with the caveat that things are currently in a state of flux due to the acquisition. I'm not looking, but I'd certainly consider the right opportunity.

Why did you pick The Horde?

Alliance have night elves.  Any other questions?

Why did you name your World of Warcraft guild Undead Fish?

Believe it or not, it was about the only name we could agree on. Back in Everquest we were known as "Oasis Covenant", but as there seemed to be no oases in Azeroth, it didn't make much sense. Additionally, I think people were looking for a change. We tried using "Undead Fish Local 354" but it wouldn't accept numbers, so we shortened it to just "Undead Fish". Given that I already owned the domain name and had the forums up and running, it only made sense. Sticking with the theme, our Alliance-side sister guild is called "Live Bait".

No point in taking things too seriously, right?

I'm new to the Guild. What do I need to know?

Undead Fish has been around in spirit since 1999 when a group of us met up in Everquest. Some names have changed over the years, but most of us are still around in one form or another, which helps to explain why some of us are referred to by names other than what's on our character sheets. If you hang around a bit, you'll pick up on it all. Most of us are over 30. That's not to say you have to be an old geezer to fit in, but if you're a young whippersnapper, understand your audience. There's very little you can say in guildchat that will get you in trouble, however, the majority of us prefer you to type out "you", rather than "u". We have an open invite policy. If you know of any other players that you think would fit in, please let one of the officers know and we'll toss out an invitation.

UF, the guild, doesn't have a lot of rules. We do, however, expect you to refrain from behavior that'll make the rest of us look bad. No ninja looting. No harassing the lowbies. No scamming. No begging. We don't require any addons, however, if you wish to be a part of our raid teams, then we'd hope you'd come as prepared as possible for the challenge. To that effect, the following addons are highly recommended: Omen and BigWigs (or equivalent)

UF has a "Need Before Greed" looting policy. Blizzard implemented code to support rolling on drops; we use it. That means if an item is an upgrade for you, and you'll use it, you can roll Need on it. There's no need to pass and discuss BOP items. In guild groups, unwanted items generally go to enchanters for disenchantment rather than being sold to a vendor. As a result, UF enchanters do their magic free of charge for guildmembers.

Undead Fish maintains its own internal guild roster with data captured from within the game. Prior to the armory, this was the only way for us to keep track of people's progress. With the release of the Armory, most of that data is available there, however the UFRoster still tracks things the Armory doesn't and provides additional functionality unavailable elsewhere. For instance, you can see who else in the guild is on the same quests as you, determine which enchanter has the enchant you're looking for, see who in the guild has keys to the heroic instance you're hoping to run, determine which tradeskill recipes you're missing, or see what gear is stored in the Guild Bank. It'll also allow you to attach your character to your forum posts as a signature. As a result, we still prefer everyone to continue to upload their character data after every play session. We've created a tool to make this process virtually foolproof. You simply run the application prior to starting your play session and your data is automatically uploaded when you log off. As an added bonus, all of the recommended addons listed above can be automatically installed for you via the same tool. You can find more information and instructions for installing and configuring the Uploader in our Forums.

The Undead Fish ventrilo server is available 24x7 for use while in game. You can find all the relevant information here or by checking the guild information tab on your guild panel while in game. It's not a huge server, so please don't share the server information with non-guildmembers without approval.

UF isn't a raid guild, but we're trying our hand at raiding. Our current focus is Karazhan, but we hope to move on to bigger and better things in the very near future. All UF raids are currently being scheduled through the UFRaid tool. If you're registered for the forums, you're automatically registered for the raid tool, so feel free to add your character(s) to the database and either join an existing raid, or create one of your own.

Why do you keep pestering us to "Update your Profiles"?

In general, I'm pretty laid back, but on occasion I get wrapped up in something and I like to be thorough. Believe me, I don't enjoy having to pester people to update their profiles every single time I log on but I've spent a metric butt-ton of time setting up the Roster pages, doing custom coding on the "Gear Snapshot" addon, configuring the uploader front and back-ends, and I want to make the most of that time. If people's profiles are out of date or non-existent, much of the roster functionality is nerfed. For instance, I can't see who else shares the same quests I do if half the people haven't uploaded their quest logs.

I've tried to make things as simple and painless as possible for everyone so that everybody can just play the game without turning it into work. All I ask is that people take that one extra step to keep their data updated.

Warlocks are nubsauce/OP/noskill/lamezor/LAWL

So's your mother. I've been playing a warlock since release, so I'm totally not interested in your critique. Please go back to your Night Elf Hunter and leave the real work to the professionals.

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